We were the kids walking the threshold!

We were the kids walking the threshold!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Long time, no post...

 I haven't had the mood to post anything, not that anyone is reading this crap i write. Well...doesn't matter...I'll keep writing.
I am writing this on the verge of psychological breakdown and frankly I don't even know how to cope with this shit this time. Just felt like putting my thoughts in black and white.
 What does a person do when he has lost all his drive to keep going. Push on you say...easier said than done. You do your best to be the person you're supposed to be, just to keep a little happiness in your existence and for all the shit you've done put down...you don't get jack. Even when you think you have the strenght to go on, it's getting harder each time to pick up the pieces. I have never, ever hit a brick wall so hard in my current lifespan.
 It's like destiny is just waiting for you to calm down and then takes away the last piece of joy...I'm sorry
she pulls it right from your hands...the harder the grip - the worse is the pain.
 And now I'm trying to convince myself...that everything is going to turn out for the best...that all will end well. BULLSHIT!!!
 Well...I guess this is all that I had the need to say. It was basically that I have hit the point in my life where I don't want to live anymore...again.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Someone asked me what i believe in....I believe life is like a war...methaphorical thoughts.

 To master war one must first master himself. Only by true insight you could easily find the thin balance line between what one
must do and what one is not supposed to do. Only then one will find his way in the cyclone of murder and chaos.
 Destruction lays in the roots of creating, for all destroyed gives space for new and better. Only by utter destruction man
shall find the time and will to create the reality he could never build over the old. Only by burning down what was there a man
discover his space and time to be a better and more creative persona by nature.
 To understand combat is to wage war and hate it in the same time. But to respect peace one must know war. Without the madness
of man and the chaos of combat, peace will be just a small word with no meaning. Thou shalt never take peace for granted or war
for the only answer. To be victorious means not to kill, but evade battle to the last. Fight if its needed, run from or bypass
combat if possible. But if one is to wage battle against the enemy, superior firepower and tactical thought is a must.
 To win wars one must first win battles. To win battles one must know combat. To know combat one must fight himself and lose until
there is no self but only will and mental power. To overcome foes one must overcome his own greed and selfish needs thus beating
himself. For when the murderous onslaught is upon him he will not need money or material but only mind, soul, knowledge and
will. To beat himself one must know that he is created by error and only he can set it right for himself.
 Only when knowing his weakness one will build up his strenght and reconstruct his mentality.
 To master war one must become war. One must hate war but know that it is a necessary evil. To become a victor first you must become
a loser. Only then you shall find in your hearth and soul the path of the warrior, and become first a better human being, then a
better brother, then a better soldier and then a better warrior. For warrior and soldier are different entities of the same kind.
A soldier follows orders and have confidence in the leadership skills of his superior, but may never become superior. A warrior
will know combat as a way of life and will train his mind and body for everyday life before transiting into war. The warrior is
a breed of persona which fights and understands orders before giving/executing them. He understands why/when/where/how to get the job
done, because he first won the war against himself and the world around him. He found his balance and true power over his worst
weakness. A warrior may become a leader and still be a warrior. This is the secret to combat. One must control the battle, never
let the battle control him. By letting the murder spree control your mentality you will fall victim of its power and hypnosis.
By controlling the murders one becomes a better and more sensitive person. A murderer is no soldier, but a soldier could become one.
A warrior never becomes a murderer, for killing to survive is a defencive action. Before killing learn to love and respect, learn to
give life and chance. Before killing take prisoners to be put simple. Before destroying one must know how to create.
 Never destroy the enemies land, how is one supposed to conquer and take advantage from it when it is nothing more than a burned
pile of ash.
 Never kill without need. Never hate without need.
 Do not hate your enemy, respect him. That way your enemy will make mistakes for you to punish and take advantage off. Pity your foe
to the point you could leave him helpless but alive. Do not kick the fallen opponent, for then you will be no better than a murderer.

It has begun!

Shit has started!! And I mean STARTED, like a bar brawl about a team allegiance.
We have the first signs of war all around the world. And I'm not talking about war with guns and bombs...all that shit. I am talking about straight up mental combat.
 Signs are popping out like flowers in the spring.
-Mass censorship (Keep on fighting for your right to intellectual freedom The Zoo Project supports!)
-Protesting and riots all 'round the globe.
 Just today I stumbled upon a video courtesy of my country's beloved Department of Health care. Dumb motherfuckers who overprice medicine and people FUCKING DIE because of their idiotic methods of gaining money for themselves. So the video was one of a series of anti-drug shorts. Don't get me wrong I don't support drug abuse and am strongly against heavy drugs. But this video was about marijuana which made me laugh at first. They used the good old "It's a gateway drug" crap. They have paid actors (really untalented ones too) to just act and lie about what their experience with weed was. All of them were either in a jail setting or outside the walls of the jail. OK that's not the bad part.
 The bad part is they connect the personal choice of people with HIP HOP Culture and heavy drugs.
Even the children know that Marry Jane is NOT a gateway drug and the only effects it has over you are:
- Dull perception
- Hunger
- Higher heart rate
And if you are a hardcore toker you might experience some short term memory problems...which however are easily cured with a fucking PAUSE.
 It was ridiculous man.....Those guys where acting like some kind of fucking heroin addicts, talking like dumb motherfuckers and alcoholics. Talking about shit like "Weed destroyed my life I had a dream of making a rap career but marijuana destroyed it for me, now I'm in jail and I quit cigarettes." WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK?!
First of....if you read fucking books and know your shit. If you EDUCATE yourself OUTSIDE WHAT THE SCHOOLS SYSTEMS are trying to ram into your head (some of it true, most of it you can learn by yourself). If you do those things...you will not destroy your life. Its YOUR fault if you're a dumb motherfucker.
 So I want just to say that WE the people outside of the fucking cast will not stand for this kind of bullshit.
Peace and keep up the fight!
Zooman out!

Sunday, February 26, 2012

"Degeneration Why" will be puting it down

 What's up y'all.
You are aware by now, that your boy Zoo (a.k.a. me, proud degenerate) is an asocial a-hole. Always talking smack about the system and the state of the human mentality.
 Let's talk about a little history. I am from a small European country on the Balkan peninsula. My motherland is 1300 + something years old with rich culture and history (wars, 500 years of slavery, political changes and screw ups...the whole package). The reason I chose to become that a-hole that I am is plain and simple.
I hate what is happening around me, not because I am a hater, NO. Just because I am one of the few people who broke out of the massive hypnosis that is brainwashing everyone, this means that people like us (because if you read this you are probably thinking like me) are seeing what really is happening.

So cutting right to the chase.
Some time back, after a long time of listening and living the hip hop culture that is almost extinct I got into it and decided to give something from my soul and mind to the culture. So this is how its going down.
 There was an underground hip hop crew - 6 guys, one of them Deadly Science Artist or just DSA, yeah we had some good times, it wasn't anything flashy and pretty but it was good. We put out songs for the poor, the starving and for people in the gutter that struggle. BUT and every fairytale has its BUT that kicks itself we came apart. I don't want to get into details because its has nothing to do with beef and hate...we just grew apart from each other. To this day I am thankful for the thing they did for me.
 I stopped making music for about 2 or 3 years and it hurts like a motherfucker. I woke up every morning with nothing to look forward to and no dream whatsoever, until the day a mad ill cat and I made a connection and came up with the idea to start again. This time...harder, heavier and more social than ever.
 We started working on the project...planing shit as hard as possible and searching, we had brief problems with finding a microphone (because we are both broke and can't afford to buy one at the moment) and thankfully a great friend of mine, who was with me through the whole hip hop crap and giving me support and making tracks came into the picture. So basically now we have a mic, tons of lyrics to be grounded and edited and some SICK BEATS.
 So, apparently good things happen, when you are so low that you are grossed out by your own condition.

I didn't want to brag and shit, but I am so fucking happy right now.

Stay tuned for the tracks, sadly they won't be in English but I will be translating the lyrics for you guys.



Ok, this is a short message if anyone is even reading my crap.
Due to problems I didn't have time to write anything here for a while. This is changing now, there is a lot to cover, so if you find this page interesting stay tuned.

 P.S. My spellcheck is not working right on this computer, so excuse any mistakes, english is not my native language.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

MEDIAS! More than entertainment.

 OK, this is going to be a long one, because it has lots and lots of points to be taken. Also i haven't updated for some time.
 You ever found yourself watching TV and actually believing what you see? It's not your fault...that's just how it is.
Same with radio stations, magazines, newspapers and from some years now the Internet. All of those things can have positive effects on you, learning new information, keeping up with current events and basically finding out whats going on. Or do they?
 It's no secret that the average IQ has slipped a few notches down, maybe more. The new generations of kids are getting more ignorant, more illiterate, more uninterested....more STUPID. Let me get this straight, I'm not talking for everyone, because stupidity is actually a percentage and frankly the more time that passes, the bigger it gets. I base my thought on the huge amount of what someone would call the freedom of speech. And while practising your right to speak freely is something you should be glad for, don't forget common sense. The anonymous nature of the Internet has given something that is far beyond freedom of speech. The net is flooded with racism, homophobia, xenophobia, antisemitism etc. etc. Things that in the real world would get your ass kicked are making you a hero on the web. I don't care actually but it gets annoying after some time. But after all this is the Internet and everybody is safe to say and do whatever they like.
 Enough with the bullshit on the net, let's talk about the more common bullshit that strikes not only kids and young adults....yes, let us talk about the older medias. The ones that are based on brainwashing.
 You probably are thinking now "Oh my God, not another one of those conspiracy spewing idiots!" You can't be more wrong, just keep reading.
 Brainwashing is the act of using the power of your voice and presence to affect peoples way of thinking. First was religion (If someone is highly religious i suggest, stop reading now). Religion is an idea, just the basic idea of importing values in someones head. While the message is not all that bad, the execution of the act of "Spreading the word" is the part that makes me sick. The basic part of any religion is what? Being an honest, humble and friendly person. OK, this is all good and I like it. Let's look at the facts now, fundamentalists from the times of the crusades till today's Muslim fundamentalists are doing the exact opposite of what they preach.
Thou shalt not kill? Oh tell that to the pagans....why don't you tell a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest to love because Islam teaches the same shit like Christianity.
Now some time later, people are the same, just their way of life changed. We have TVs now...
 We found a new way of reprogramming ourselves, via Television Programing... Can't decide what music you like? Put on a music channel...Oh you'll find shit that is ridiculous, but hey it's better than not having any interest at all...right? NO, NO, NO and a thousand times NO!! The television is far from "harmless entertainment". The news tell you half the story and proceed to order you how to feel about it. The music programs are telling you what's the best new music and you are sucked into the global mind...Radio stations, do the same as the music programs. Both TV and radio are filled with adverts about shit you don't even need but they make you want. And now what has happened is that people under a certain age are mindlessly walking like a horde of zombies to the store. The fear of being outdated and uncool is so big that people with no money for food are doing the same.
 While this is happening the educational system is collapsing. Governments are deliberately destroying it. Why? I'm glad you asked. You see, technology is really a good thing. It makes your life easy...its the crossing the boundaries of useful and stepping into the zone of being just a slave to the said technology is what concerns me. Being a slave to technology is the first step to being a "mind in chains" as i like to call it. The leaders do not need smart people, who are able to question and find out how bad they are getting screwed over for the big mans greed. So what do they need, they need you to know enough so you could make them money and feel like an achiever, just because you are making money for yourself (which in fact is not even close to the money you make for them). They need you and your children to be useful, but not able. So now you are getting taught to work, but not to question. Why? Because if you question your orders, you clearly see something wrong, something that doesn't add up to the big picture. You don't work for YOUR future, you work for THEIR PRESENT.
 And here is where the media steps in rock hard and heavy as a boulder. We already have a zombie horde of people walking in rhythm in columns to their low pay jobs. They don't ask "WHY?" they don't think for themselves...they work. But here and there are people who escaped the cloning vats as children and find themselves in an environment that they could change if they try hard enough. So what does the media do?

 Ironically I am now using the Internet to express my thoughts. This brings me to something else in my mind...Is it all that bad?! The answer is NO it is not....if you are capable of thinking. If you have enough knowledge and information to logically connect all the pieces into one big picture.

In conclusion.
Yes TV programs are fun, yes, music is fun(but not art anymore)...but its just like weed...Its a powerful weapon, you just have to know where to point and how to pull the trigger. What makes the difference is the reason you use it.

These are just my thoughts on the subject and you are absolutely free to disagree.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

The secret behind being a good person (my way of thinking about it)

Zoo here, your everyday host of Degeneration Why.
Today my friends we will talk about "being a good person"
What is good, who is good...but the correct question is actually "IS it/he/she good?"
 Now there is a huge difference between being good by looks and being a real good person.
A good person (once more for the dyslexic :D:D ) is not a person that will help others 24/7 or give you his shit all the time, that's a docile person. It's not being totally kind to everyone everywhere, that's being trustful.
 A good person(yes i know...i know, but you get the point of the words being repeated) is a mythical creature that our parents use as a role model when trying to make us do shit or become something.
"But you can always become a good person!"
That is a highly abstract theory which I find cracking and smashed under the weight of circumstance. A good person to one is not the same for someone else.
 In order for you to become that fantastic super hero, CAAAAPTAAAAAAAIN CAAAAVEEEM.....oops Captain Good Guy, you need to fulfill your own vision of him.
Good is always walking side by side with BAD/EVIL and YUCK, the sooner you realise this, the better.
 You need to be flexible, give to people you respect the same amount back. Give your friends the friendship you want from them. Give others the attitude that you want to receive.
In other words GIVE so you could RECEIVE!
 But what about the times when no matter how much you give and give...you still receive CRAP. Well this is the good thing about flexibility, give the crap back and shove it down their throats.
 You can't take shit from anyone just because you want to be good.
Receive, parry, hit back.
Welcome to the concrete jungle, don't look at the cover. Search deeper, there are many people who look and act like you NEED to hate them...you don't.
Lets take a grumpy homeless dude that I meet really often for an example. He knows no better, he talks shit to people, but that's just one part of the story. This person who I will call by the name of Bob, just for the sake of the idea, has actually a great educated past...2 degrees ( organic chemistry and biology...hard stuff i know) Now Bob is a nice dude, but he is forced to act this way because people treat him like the shit he is NOT. He lost his job as a researcher, government took his home (communism is a bitch, they give, they take...playing god) and he is sick. Now that communism is gone for roughly 20 years, Bob is on the streets. He sleeps in parks, cops even leave him alone. He walks around and gather "their majesty the lucky ones" beer bottles so he can grab some change from the nearby store and buy food, smokes, booze and now and then a pair of socks. This guy gave me so much wisdom that changed a whole portion of my way of thinking. He gave me years of experience just because I walked up and gave him a smoke and some money for food.
Now on the other hand we have Billy, fucking Billy man one rotten little shithead. Clean kid, never tasted alcohol (this is good yes), never smoked a cigarette (also good), goes to school, works in the summers, tries to become somebody....  douche bag extraordinaire...this kid plays his all alpha game and to impress 2 girls, starts yelling and cussing at Bob...the old man gets scared and starts trembling in front of a bench almost dropping the food I bought him. Billy grabs his grub and throws it in the trashcan...and this my friends is when I fucking snapped, swear on my future gravestone, I have never kicked the shit out of someone this way. And this didn't even make me feel better, the old man was sobbing and tears were rolling down his eyes. I bought him a new sandwich and told him to watch out and walked away...
This my friend is how idiotic the whole model of a perfect good person that we get jammed in our heads sounds. No matter how much you drink, smoke, smoke weed or do other forbidden shit...the good in you is the ability to make a change for once, to bring your little justice.
 Let's be better and stand up for the weaker and good people(the real good people).

P.S: Names are changed because i didn't know them. The name is just a way to call someone and give you the chance to talk about him to others.
P.P.S: FUCK THIS KID, if you see someone like that, please KICK THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF HIM!


And a song for the people apreciating real hip hop and its in tune with the theme:

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The evolution is going backwards...

 Is it me? Is it just me or the title is right?
Evolution is not only going backwards it's on a downward spiral. The mind gets smaller while the ego...oh boy... the ego is flying like an artillery shell and landing in non suspecting faces, backs or just feelings.
 Don't get me wrong, I am not one of the touchy-feely-crying people. I am not an easily offended person, actually my nerves are even stronger now than ever. And keeping these factors in mind i happen to remember a thought I read once when browsing random shit in the net.

 "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes."

 -Steven Winterburn - (or whatever I just googled it so I would know who I quote)

Thinking a little harder on the subject you either find out you ARE indeed surrounded by assholes or you realise you ARE an asshole. Well...we are all assholes, more or less, so yeah....you get my point.
 The real question is "What the fuck is up with the ignorance and egocentricity of people around us?" It's not like a cloud of Crazy Gas swept the world over night. Certain individuals just argue with no knowledge on the matter what so ever and seeing they can't win...resort to violent outbursts and swearing. They don't listen and never will.
 Knowing that I'm surely not the only person who is observing this kind of behavior of people, I can't help but ask myself what is going on. The only rational explanation that comes to mind is that we don't stop to think no more. 
 We simply just don't care, I don't care, you don't care, they don't give a damn...we just don't give a flying one.
It's a financial crisis in several places around the world (my country included, actually where is this place crisis-free from any sort of problems?). Some say this is what causes the high temper and the huge amounts of disrespect.
 It's not the ego that brings us the glory. It's the experience and knowledge, every book, every new skill...not the "I know everything, but who said I have to prove it. I'll just be an asshole about shit" attitude.
 I don't even know where the hell am I going with this no more. I just want to conclude these thoughts with this:

Never forget where you started from and what you started as. 

P.S. :
 Forgetting your roots and principles is the easiest way to destroy yourself, your friendships with people who give a fuck about you and a shitload of opportunities.

 Life is fucking hard, life is unfair but that doesn't mean you have to make it even more difficult for yourself. Have an individual etiquette and some damn values, for a man with NO values there is no one to value his existence...not a single soul!

Friday, January 6, 2012

Bottom of the pit on the top of the world.

We all have our time of day.
Sounds poetic, doesn't it? Well...almost it's something that you should appreciate more than you expect.
Scientists have even proven the fact that different people are more active, productive and have a boosted sense of physical and mental awareness in a certain part of the day. Mine is that moment when the sun is half hidden by the horizon.

Years ago, maybe 3 or 4.
10 people, maybe a little less than that number.
A place that does not exist anymore, a grassy plain with really low rolling hills. The perfect end of time and reality, the border between pain and no feeling at all. We called it the farmland because of it past use for the people who lived at this location. Once an escape of reality, now it was a dumping ground for the dirty money of building contractors. The end of time is no more and will never be nothing more but a sterile hub for false hope. We were in the center of it at that time...free for some hours before we went back to our "holding cells" we called home.
Behind me was the concrete and iron prison of one of the many neighbourhoods. Those places outlining the city right before the factories and warehouses, places built in a similar pattern, the concrete psychological prisons with their own time and date and their own life and secrets.
To understand the mental cage you have to look at the big picture. It was a grey and brown ensemble of mud, cement and iron with an occasional green of a old and hard to kill tree. It was rows after rows of housing buildings, just the peoples money that communism was about to lose 20 and something years ago. Those rolls of buildings were scared by narrow and long streets like hallways in front of the cages in a maximum security institution. This whole pile of dusty and ugly buildings was surrounded by the longest and most crooked buildings of the same sort, as if it was barricaded with walls to keep whats inside from going out and keep what comes in ....IN. All the neighbourhoods in the outskirts of the capitol looked like that....those were the places that bred the state of mind of people like us.
An endless plain merging with the mountain that was enclosing our hometown from the rest of the west part of the county. If it was dark enough you could see all the lights of the VIP villas and be reminded that the border between poverty and comfort is as thin as a hair and strong as titanium. But this wasn't all, the sunset blending from light blue through dark blue, purple, red, yellow, orange and the most perfect cobalt blue. That sight was able to leave anyone so drunk and high as me with no pain and no though at all.
  That was the moment i realised....we are forgotten at the end of the line, looked at like we were sick and treated like scum. We never had the chance of giving the surrounding people a piece of our thoughts...we were dropped with no hope and no chance whatsoever and we kept going and going and going, as if never giving a damn about nothing.
Laughing with no happiness at all. Smiling through the pain like it was "The New Shit". Being together and still alone, with individual problems and individual ways of dealing with them....we kept dragging our sorry selves to what awaits for us in the end of the road.

Now so many years later, as the rain is drumming on the window mixing with the dirty ash colored snow, I cant even reproduce the feeling of being drunk, high and lost in its all glory, but i still remember the lessons i learned through my passage from then to now.
  "Whatever happens, you keep going. You don't stop, never fall. As hard as life hits and pounds at you...NEVER FALL."

Days like this remind us to keep moving, heads low, minds with the safety off and keep fighting the war, no mater what!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Why "Degeneration why" ???

We are the generation of babies raised by the baby boomers and while this sounds nice it is heavily influenced by some factors. Factors like location, exact time, social status....etc.
While "Generation Y" would sound a cool nickname for a whole chunk of the world population...let me stress on the fact that the people like me and you are a lot different. We are the "Degeneration WHY?!".
 We are the ones raised not by parents who wanted to give us everything, but the parents who wanted to teach us the values of EVERYTHING. We are the people coming from broken families, collapsed households, bad social life, worse standards of living.
 Talking about parents....hm.....let me just think about it....oh yes we have them. Those people who put us in a hostile environment at home so we wouldn't WANT to see the hostile environment outside our homes. Those who failed to stop us from making our own mistakes and those who were so self-centered that couldn't see further than their blind ambitions and frightful little world. They kept talking and talking....spiting bullshit after bullshit hoping we will learn something from old mistakes in an old way of life and an outdated moral codex. Enraged and destructive for prolonged periods of time, bringing to nothing more but the insecure future of your inner you......if you listened off course.
 Well since you are relating to thees words you actually did listen, but did not brake.
Now after this short introduction....let me move on to the real question here:
- Why, oh why are we "Degeneration Why" ?
Well let me brake it down in two sections, hoping I won't have to explain the wordplay.

Part 1: Degeneration
Real simple actually. We were heavy drinkers at 16 and some of us even earlier. We ditched school to drink, smoke weed and kill the pain of the surroundings....it worked. But what were we in the eyes of the people around us "degenerates, future criminals, drug addicts, alcoholics". For fuck's sake I was even called a satan worshiper once. Those were the names that people who lived in the past when comunism was destroying the freedom of people in my country and they liked it.
 We were never like them, allways asking our questions "WHY!?" anoying the shit out of everyone. We never wanted to be rebels, revolutionaries and urban mental guerillas....but we became those things. Thanks to our questions and our hate for the brainwashing, censoring, abuse of intelect and overall stupid rules....Dumb rules.. And we followed rules, playing the game smart as hell, keeping quiet while drawing the plans to open peoples eyes. Some did some didn't....the struggle continues.
They are still blind and we although started slowly to reduce the amounts of alcohol, weed etc. are still degenerates in their eyes...and that is good. It is good because they don't expect the music of our cultures to hit their faces and the arts of our cultures to poke their eyes open.

Part 2: Why?
If I have to explain this part....well you didn't even understand the last. Everything should be crystal clear by now.

This is just a fragment of the thoughts that you will read in this blog.

*The past is what you learn from so you could survive the present and arive at the future unharmed*